Learn to Fly
by PhanGrrrl
Summary: A Phantom of the Opera Phic where Christine goes rather passive agressive, empasis on the agressive.
1. Choices

Learn to Fly  
By PhanGrrrl  
  
Chapter 1: Choices  
  
She stared at her reflection, hating what she saw more than she believed herself capable of. She wished she had the strength or the will to shatter the glass in front of her, vile thing. How did she get here, here where she would sit for hours lost in her reflection, wondering what he had seen. How could he have loved this? How could he have cared to see this face smile. Maybe there had been something there, but It was lost now. Everything she saw in herself was hard and cold, and each day it got worse. It got worse because she was a coward and a fool. She tore her eyes away at last, shaking her head in disgust at herself. She must have left something down there in that darkness, whatever he had loved. She gave the glass one last fleeting look, and then covered it with the sheet in her hands. She stared at the deserted room. She didn't belong here any more, not in Paris, not in Europe, no where near anything that knew or remembered that girl who had gone into the catacombs, and never came back. And the one person who knew where that girl went was lost. Or perhaps she was lost, either way it didn't matter, because he hadn't come for her. He didn't want her any more, did he?   
"Christine? Are you quite ready?" A male voice demanded from behind the door. She arose and walked to let him in. She was glad she hadn't been able to cry since she had returned home, or else she would be wiping tears from her eyes now, like a fool.   
"I'm ready, Raoul" She stated somberly as she opened the door. "Let's go." She barely looked at him as she passed though the door. Lately it seemed she felt sick when she looked at him, guilty, like a criminal. She kept telling herself that it didn't matter, He wanted her to be with Raoul, he had let her go. But there was still a coldness in Raoul's eyes that she had seen for the first time that night. She knew the look well, the cold and calculating stare of some one who would never give up what was theirs, someone ready to kill for what they thought was love. Whenever she thought of Raoul's eyes she could not help but think of His eyes as she had left him. Again Christine shook her head free of those useless and painful thoughts. She bit her lip. Forget him. That was what she ordered herself to do. It was time for on last journey to the Opera house. It was time to say good bye.  
She didn't speak in the carriage and didn't look at her companion, as was becoming her habit. She hated this.  
"You know, you could at least try to look happy. You are free now." Raoul tried to explain encouragingly.   
"Why are you letting me do this?" She asked coldly, finally turning to him.   
"Because…it will help you to heal from the horrors you've had to endure" he said hastily. She gave him a look that let him know she saw his lie. "I have one piece of business left, as well."  
"I have felt for months as if I was being torn apart, by both of you. It hasn't changed, it hasn't stopped. Every time you speak of him…I feel as if I will scream. The battle is over, but your words keep it going and it won't stop in my heart either" She whispered in one of the first flashes of honesty she had shown him in days.  
"That is why it has to end, truly end." He said, trying to smile. But she heard ice under his tone of comfort. What did he really mean? She had little time to consider it, as they rolled up to the Palais Garnier.   
Raoul let her go with few words. She knew he didn't like this. She didn't care. She entered her old dressing room silently and simply stood in the half-lit stillness, waiting for something. She drew a breath, knowing that at last the moment was right.  
"We never said goodbye. You just told me to go, and I left. And I don't know why. I guess I…just couldn't fight anymore. And now I feel like a coward, like I betrayed you. And I know I have done that far too many times already. But, I've come to apologize…for not being strong enough to stay or fight or be what you needed. I'm sorry that I was a foolish little girl in the first place. I'm sorry that I was too afraid of myself and hate myself too much to let anything happen, or let anyone I touch or myself be happy…"She stopped, slamming her eyes against tears. "I…"  
"Still have one more chance," a sad and beautiful voice interrupted, Christine clenched her fists and after a moment of pure panic, opened her eyes.  
He stood before her, as dark and forbidding as ever, with they same look of love and supplication in his eyes. She didn't breathe and felt her heart stopping.  
"Erik…" She rasped. She'd run through her mind what she would say to him if he were to appear, rehearsed it in her dreams and wished he'd been there to here it. Now it was all gone. What had he said? That she still had a chance. "A chance?"  
"Yes." He said steadily. "He came today to finalize some arrangements with the management. Tonight he is going to kill me. He will bait me with a letter, challenging me to come for you. Then the gendarmes will surround and arrest me. I will fight because I will never let myself be locked away again. He wants you too see this, that's why he's luring me out." He explained calmly and simply, his gaze never leaving her. Christine closed her eyes and swallowed, feeling sick. Raoul had said he wanted it to truly end, and he had meant it. "I know you don't..."  
"I believe you," She whispered, cutting him off. "So what is my choice if you plan to die tonight? How can I live with that blood on my hands? How can it end that way?" She demanded, her voice becoming more and more feverish as she raised her eyes to him again.  
"Because it does not have to end," he almost whispered, as if he was praying. "You gave me something to live for, and for a moment, when you kissed me I knew what love really was," He shrugged and continued. "Life doesn't really mean much without you anymore. You mean to fly tonight, I know." Christine held back her tears as he continued "I will still love you, even then. There are still two ways you can fly, but it is still your choice now. It does not matter that he wants me dead. Without you nothing matters, you've known that." Christine starred at him, had she heard amusement in his voice.   
"Erik, I…" She sighed, at a loss for words.  
"You don't need to say anything. You must forgive me if I wait to give you my goodbye until tonight…or perhaps until I mean it." At that he turned, satisfied that he had told her all and told her the truth. Leaving her looking down at her clenched hands, he left.Once again, she stood in the stillness, more lost than before. She wasn't sure how she reached the foyer and made it to the carriage. She was finally jolted from her thoughts when Raoul asked, at last, if she was satisfied.  
"No." She whispered more to herself than him. She studied her hands, locked in black gloves. She was ready to travel but she looked as if she was ready for a funeral; all black. Her long cloak enveloped her like night. The drove slowly and time seemed to be dragging even slower than had been usual for her in the past days. She wondered if Erik was already waiting somewhere; waiting for an end.  
"Do you have the tickets to Calais?" She asked absently.   
"Yes, and our spending money." He replied enthusiastically, cheered by her seeming interest in their voyage. Her eyes focused on him.  
"May I take care of them? This trip is important to me, I'd feel safer having them," she asked looking at him innocently, sweet venom in her voice. If he meant to kill or arrest Erik, there would be no true intent to leave, and he would trust her with the useless money and tickets. This would be her proof.  
"Of course, my love," he smiled, handing her everything. She felt suddenly as if a freezing wind had hit her. "And I have something else to make you feel safe." He pulled back his coat and revealed a pistol tucked gallantly in his belt.  
"What will you possibly use that for?" She asked as she felt herself go pale.  
"Just in case" he grinned. "Ah! Here we are." Raoul looked out the carriage window and smiled. Christine looked out and say not the grand train station but an empty street.  
"What do you mean? The station is farther down." She muttered as she leapt out and opened the door.  
"I though a walk would do us well before that long train ride" Christine stared at him, appalled by the obviousness of his lies. She gazed around her, wondering where the gendarmes where hiding and barely wondering anymore if what Erik had said would come true.  
"I'd rather take the carriage all the way," she demanded coldly, turning to get back in.  
"No…I think we'll see some very nice sights along the way," Raoul leered grabbing for her hand.   
"Really, you would call me a nice sight?" A familiar voice intoned from the shadows, sounding much more defiant and caustic than it had earlier.   
"So you did decide to come, wonderful!" Raoul addressed the darkness, far too amused for his own good.  
"I really had nothing better to do," Erik sighed as he walked out of the shadows, seeming to materialize out of the dark.  
"Raoul, what is this? Why are you doing this?" Christine demanded, looking back and forth between the two of them.  
"I told you, Christine, I'm going to end this. Messieurs!" Raoul called to the darkness. Erik didn't even flinch as the gendarmes emerged form the doors around them. All with pistols aimed at him.  
"So you knew you couldn't win on your own, very smart, a nice change," Erik hissed sarcastically. The gendarmes continued to advance.  
"Raoul!" Christine yelled, throwing her arms around him suddenly, shocking all the men there. "Please don't do this, please! This is insane! Please, don't hurt him." She begged. Raoul looked at her in disgust, pushing her away. Her hands retreated into her cloak, having found their prey.  
"This is for you!" He snarled in repugnance. "Why do you insist on pleading for the life of a monster? You'll be free. Stay out of this!" Raoul pushed Christine out of his way as he advanced on Erik, but within a moment she was between them, standing firm.  
"I will chose how this ends," Christine spoke clearly.   
"Christine! Enough people have been hurt by your foolishness already! Get out of my way!" Raoul yelled, his face twisting with rising anger. Christine looked down for a moment, dejected, and then looked to Erik. He looked at her, waiting.   
"You're right, I have hurt a lot of people," She murmured, and turned back to face the viscount. "I guess one more won't matter then?"  
"I…" Raoul couldn't finish forming words as he registered the sound of a gun cocking and pistol aimed a foot from his head, in Christine's hand. Her face showed a steely resolve and strength he had never seen. He fumbled in his belt for his own pistol and realized that it was the one Christine was holding. "What are you doing?"  
"Choosing," she said calmly and assuredly. "Now get back." Raoul stumbled back, still too confused to do anything other than what she ordered. "All of you, get back in those houses, or I shoot." The gendarmes looked at each other in utter bewilderment. They slowly began to back away, dropping their aim as they did. After what seemed to Christine like an eternity, they were gone and hidden again. "Raoul, I would tell you I'm sorry for this," Christine explained, almost sadly. "But…I'm not."   
"Christine!" Erik's voice rang out at the same instant as her shoot. Raoul crumpled to the ground clutching his wounded leg. Christine turned to Erik for a moment, her face still resolved.   
"Now we run," he gasped and took her waiting hand. 


	2. A Certain Type of Maddness

Neither of them thought anything of anything more than getting away as they ran, going in the general direction of the train station. They hadn't talked about where they were going, the station seemed to make sense; until they got there.   
Heads turned as the two figures in black rushed into the huge crowded station. Together they halted abruptly, nearly slamming into an older woman. She gave them an appalled and mystified look and walked away quickly. Christine seemed to have stashed the pistol away before anyone saw it.   
"Do you have any sort of plan?" Erik whispered into Christine's ear, trying to hide the conspicuous mask with his closeness to her. He could feel her breathing, spent from their flight.  
"Yes," She answered, breathless but determined.  
"Then where are we going?" He queried, his eyes flitting about, looking for the gendarmes that would no doubt soon descend upon them.  
"Calais," she stated simply, taking his hand and leading him towards the platforms. He stayed close to her, trusting that she knew where the hell she was going. He hadn't been in a train station this large or this crowded in his entire life. Indeed, he hadn't felt so conspicuous in a crowd in what seemed like forever. Years of hiding in the safe darkness underneath the Opera had softened him and he was not prepared for such a mass of people. He kept his head down, marveling for a moment that he was able to do this only because she was there. What had happened in the last five minutes to make this possible? It didn't matter, all that mattered was that it was happening.  
"Here, this is it," Christine told him, trying to conceal any nervousness in her voice. "Quickly, the train is about to leave," she urged. Then she pulled him closer and whispered, "Is anyone following us?"  
"Not yet," he assured her, trying to look back as casually as possible. Christine nodded and they headed toward the train that was almost ready to depart.   
It was a relief to actually board the machine and a relief to see Christine produce a pair of tickets to present to the steward as Erik lingered close behind her. Christine thanked the man and they headed to their car very quickly. They collapsed into the seats just in time to see three gendarmes rush the platform as the train began to move.  
"Good timing," Erik muttered as he turned to Christine. He was shocked at the look of total bafflement on her face.  
"Oh god…what just happened? What did I do?" She questioned in shock, looking sick.  
"Well, it's obvious you've gone completely insane" Erik answered matter-of-factly. Her gaze snapped to him, her eyes full of horror. "Don't worry. I find it quite charming."  
"What?" Christine asked dumbly, blinking. Erik smiled at her and to the surprise of both she began to laugh. She tried for a moment to stop, demurely covering her mouth with her hand, but Erik began to laugh as well. The more each laughed the worse it got and finally they surrendered, laughing like fools for the first time in months.   
When they had finally recovered, the train was getting ready to leave Paris and the night time city was already beginning to fade. Christine looked out the window, breathing normally at last. She turned to look at Erik, remembering how she had missed him the moment he left her sight that night.  
"What do we do now?" She asked him seriously.   
"I'm not sure really, but you're doing quite well so far," he shrugged still in awe of what she had done.  
"Erik, please, I need your help. I don't know what's happening. I've never been…"  
"Braver," he reassured her. She smiled shyly. She wasn't used to this kind of responsibility, but never the less it was hers. It was she who had shot someone and she who had gotten them into all of this.   
"I'm not brave, just very stupid" she corrected.  
"No," he countered "I was ready for to die tonight, but instead you saved me. You went against everything to do that. You even surprised me, and I though I knew everything about you," his voice trailed off as he gazed at her, amazed. "What you did for me, I can't believe it and I will never forget it."   
Christine let his words sink in, trying to see herself though his eyes: brave, kind, and all the things she thought she could never be or never had been. "I would never have let him kill you. After…I left, I didn't know what to do, didn't know how to go on without you guiding me. The only thought that consoled me was they you were still in the world and you still cared for me. I couldn't bare the thought of a world without you in it. And tonight, when I thought of that, I saw no point in having you in the world, and not being able to be near you. I don't know what is going to happen, or how this will end, but what I know is that, saving you and being here with you feels like the first thing I've done right since I kissed you. I guess I am mad, because everything in me is telling me this is wrong, but I know it's right." Christine looked out, the window, feeling awkward for having said so much, perhaps too much. Erik stared at her delicate profile, unable to think of anything, except how much he loved her.   
Christine sighed, suddenly tired. "We still don't know what we're going to do," she reminded him.  
"Let's decide when we get to Calais," he reassured her.  
"Will everything make sense then?" she asked wearily, laying her head back.  
"No," he replied "But that's the best part of an adventure: you never know what's going to happen."  
"Never?"  
"Well, one can guess or plan, but it's much better when things just happen," He explained softly, his musical voice taking on the tone of a lullaby or a fairytale.  
"Like this just happened." She continued for him, her eyes closing and her voice growing quieter.  
"Exactly."  
"I'm happy that it turned out this way; that my adventure is with you."  
"As am I." He murmured, bemused. Her only response was soft breathing and closed eyes. He watched her for a while, thinking of how different the face he saw now was from the one she had worn that afternoon when she had come to say goodbye. He closed his eyes, hoping to imprint this image of her at rest and at peace in his mind. Something in him sensed they would have very little peace in the near future. He opened his eyes at the sound of rustling cloth and a sigh. She was simply resituating her self, but it meant she was suddenly leaning on to him. Unconsciously she was touching him. Tonight she has taken his hand with no fear. And now she was close to him because part of her wanted to be. That night Erik had been ready to die; now he was amazed to find himself with Christine, and more than that, happy. 


	3. Safe Passage

Chapter 3: Safe Passage  
  
The train ground to a halt, jolting both of them awake. Christine sat up rigidly and looked around franticly for a moment, forgetting where she was. She gasped as the memories of the previous night hit her. They were in Calais and they were not safe. She looked to Erik. His eyes mirrored her own concerns.   
"What do we do now?" she asked in a tense whisper. He took a breath and nodded, he had a plan.  
"We got off this train and try to pretend like we are normal people with nothing to hide. If anyone looks at us like we're strange, we just look at them like they are the strange ones."  
"That's your plan?" She pried, her fear showing in her face and voice.  
"Most of it." He shrugged. "I'm not sure yet if we should stay in Calais. They might know we're here, be watching for us." He peered around Christine and through the window. People were already disembarking.  
"Alright, shall we go then?" Christine said trying to sound cheerful to cover her nerves. They rose, straightening their sleep-wrinkled clothes. Erik pulled his collar high and his hat low, hoping that would be enough to divert prying eyes. As he opened the door he felt her hand in his. In his heart he promised that nothing would hurt her.   
They walked slowly down the narrow passage to the exit. The steward barely looked at them as he gave his bored "Thank you and good-bye". The platform was bustling with all sorts of people. This was a busy port city and the diversity of the people as the train station alone seemed to promise that the two figures in black would go relatively unnoticed. They stayed close as they moved together down the length of the train to the main station. All seemed to be going well until the reached to front car. They both saw the gendarmes at the same moment. The uniformed men were speaking to the conductor and a steward. Thankfully there was a support pillar for them to dart behind.  
"What..." Christine began to whisper.  
"We listen," Erik's voice commanded in her ear, his lips not moving. Christine swallowed, resolving to be brave and very quiet.  
"We got a telegram from Paris an hour or so ago telling us to look for a man and woman in black arriving from there." The gendarme was explaining.  
"Well we there were a lot of people wearing black, I haven't seen anyone looking to peculiar," the steward replied vacantly.  
"Well, apparently the man wears a mask. Are you sure no one has seen them?" The lawman pushed.  
"Well, not no one. You might ask the other stewards." The conductor explained, distain for the gendarme edging his voice.  
"Could you lead me to those men, then?" The gendarme asked bitterly.  
"Of course, sir. If you don't mind me asking, what did these two do that they're being searched for?" The conductor asked flippantly.  
"They shot a man and stole a few thousand francs from him, that's all we know. We've also been told the man is very dangerous." The gendarme's voice faded as the three men moved away from Erik and Christine.  
"You stole a few thousand francs?" Erik asked her in a whisper, his voice a mix of amusement and surprise.  
"I didn't know it was that much," Christine defended herself hastily. "Erik, what do we do now? If they think we're dangerous, all of Calais…"  
"I know," he cut her off, looking at her seriously. "What we do is let them see us, then disappear." He explained simply, hoping she would be reassured if he sounded confident.  
"And how will we do that?" She hissed as he began to lead them back to the trains.  
"You won't do it if I tell you, so just trust me," he revealed. He looked back at her as they paused.  
"I trust you then," she relied and placed her fate with him.   
They walked swiftly, still close and directly in the direction of the gendarme. Christine's eyes widened as they got closer to the policeman. She was sure it wasn't possible, but it seemed Erik was going to run into him. Christine felt her heart stop, that was what he was going to do. The impact wasn't violent, just rude enough to grab the gendarme's attention.  
"Watch yourself, fool!" The gendarme snapped very annoyed. He looked towards them just long enough to see Erik's mask. "You?" He asked stupefied for a moment.  
Erik laughed softly for just a second, and then commanded Christine: "Run."  
Christine turned and followed Erik, running for all she was worth. She heard a shrill whistle and cries behind then but she couldn't make out what they said. They tore through the crowd, alternating between dodging people and nearly crushing them. Christine began to make out that they were heading in the direction of a train that was about to leave, she didn't know for where. It was already moving as they approached. She heard some one yelling, but they were at the train now. It was as if she was watching from a great distance as she saw Erik leap to the car, and the saw herself take his hand and jump. From behind her she heard a gendarme cry out in frustration. They had escaped and the train was taking them away from Calais. She was panting as they rushed through the passage past closed cabin doors. They came to the end of the car and dashed out the door. They were outside again, but they had stopped running. Erik looked around; the train was leaving the station but not yet at full speed.  
"Erik," Christine began, trying to catch her breath, "Why are we stopping here?"  
Erik took a long breath, still scanning the landscape. "Because it's easier to get off when we're outside," he answered plainly.  
"Get off?" Christine exclaimed, suddenly terrified again. "Erik, the train is moving!"  
"That's what will make it hard," He said as if he was giving a lesson. Christine starred at him uncomprehending. "They think we're going where ever this train is going; that we're leaving Calais. They'll be waiting for us wherever this stops, but we won't be on it, that's how we disappear." He explained hastily. They were getting farther from the station and nearing a clear stretch of meadow. He looked to her, earnest and imploring. "We have to jump now while we're still moving slowly or we won't have another chance."  
Christine drew a nervous breath, and then nodded. "I told you I'd trust you." She shook her head.   
They took hands and stepped clear of the railing. The meadow rolled before them, but in-between the grass and the tracks was a line of dirt and rock. Christine bit her lip and braced herself; this might hurt. Erik squeezed her hand and they jumped. The moment in the air seemed like an eternity, as they flew towards the ground, still moving with the train's velocity. It felt more like the ground rose to crush them rather than them falling on to it. The train continued to thunder past, still a threat. Christine gaped at the machine in horror for a second before she felt Erik grab her and then found herself rolling away into the safety of the grass. She was still breathing hard when the train finally passed.   
She closed her eyes in relief and felt her body finally relax. Only then did she realize that Erik was holding her, continuing keeping her still and safe. When her eyes opened she found herself looking into his. He seemed to be as awed by this closeness as she was. Christine swallowed, unsure of what to do next. A month ago she might have screamed, but now she had the urge to not move at all. She wanted to stay where she knew she was safe, to make time stop so nothing else would chase them or disturb them. In her mind she stopped to marvel out how her feelings and fears had changed in the last few days. Finally, she smiled wryly.  
"Next time, I choose the plan," She whispered and Erik smiled. Once again they had escaped within an inch of their lives and a train; and yet he was still happier than he had ever been. He lingered on that thought for a moment, then moved to rise. She followed, taking his had to aid her assent. "So, your turn for a plan," he said, dusting of his clothes.  
"Then I elect we discreetly walk to Calais, and never get on a train again." She answered without hesitation.  
"I agree," he concurred with laughter in his voice. They began to walk and to Erik's surprise she took his hand. Christine looked at the city in the distance, staying close to him not to shield him, but because it was where she wanted to be. 


End file.
